Less Proving. More Living.

Originally Published April 2020

Less Proving. More Living. What does this mean to you? As you read this for the first time, or the second ... or even the third time; what does it mean to you?

For some of us, we charter our course and measure our success based on big lofty goals we MUST achieve to be successful. Goals that we set outside of ourselves. Goals based on what we think we MUST do ... SHOULD do ... HAVE to do. Goals based on the beliefs of others; self-comparison, external pressures, ideals conceived by others, or to prove.

These are goals we set out to achieve to PROVE our worth and our value. To PROVE we can do it. Often we think we are proving our worth to others when fundamentally, it's about proving to ourselves. Let's stop for a moment, and contemplate that idea. Setting goals so we can prove to others and ourselves that we can do it, that we are worthy. Hmmmm. How does the thought of that feel for you? Have you ever set goals based on this? Or are you working to achieve goals to prove your worth right now? If the answer to this is yes ... then how does this feel for you, right now?

Often as we finally achieve these goals, we find ourselves disappointed, unfulfilled ... and still looking to prove our worth. Questioning ourselves when we are still unfulfilled. Have you ever been there? Maybe you are in this place right now. Wondering how it can be that you've achieved your goals and yet still find yourself unhappy, unfulfilled, uncertain. Hmmmm.

Instead, imagine setting goals based on what you most desire in your heart. First seeking to discover what you truly do desire there - in your heart. Knowing what you first desire in your heart, leads you to create goals that are soulful and aligned with what you aspired to - the desired feelings - and therefore you achieve goals with soul and find your love, joy, purpose, and fulfillment in reaching them.

So, not more money, not more time - not goals based on proving your worth to others, or yourself. Imagine achieving goals that fill your heart and soul, with what you most desire in achieving your purpose.

I spent years chasing after goals based on my need to prove. Prove that, as a woman, I could be as good, if not better, than my male colleagues, prove to partners and family, that no matter what, I could "do it all, have it all"; prove that I didn't need to rely on anyone else for help or support. Prove that I was worthy and I could do it. I was so focused on proving to others ... and myself, that I was worthy. Worthy of promotions, the salary, the recognition ... worthy of love. No matter my success, I still felt unfulfilled, longing for something more. I still felt like an imposter, and couldn't feel the value of my own worth. Why? Because I was seeking things outside of myself. Chasing goals and approvals outside of myself. I was focused on goals that I believed others wanted for me.

Today my life looks very different. My focus now is very much on how I want to feel, at the core, in my heart and soul. From there I can set goals that fully align with my desired core feelings, and as such both the work toward the goals, and the success in achieving them are fulfilling, heart-centered, and purposeful.

If I don't feel it, I don't do it. In this way, the entire journey feels good. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are still hard days and challenges - life will always have them. The difference for me now is that it's easier to rise back up and carry on. Why? Because every day I set my intention on how I want to feel, and what this day will bring me, in my heart. Because with this intention, I am reminded I am on the right path, traveling my own journey. A journey that is heart-centered and soulful, and moves in and out daily around how I want to feel as I travel this road around every corner, and up every hill, with every descent as the wind blows through my hair, and the sun shines warmly on my heart. My choices now start and end with my heart. If I don't feel it, I don't do it. When we start from the heart, and the feelings we desire at our core, we live and love more fully. We travel a journey by our own design. We do less proving and more living.

Yes, as my friend David. W. Burns says "This is my journey, and I am worthy of the trip!"

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Are you struggling with goals that leave you unfulfilled and still needing to prove yourself? Do you want less proving and more living? Are you traveling someone else's journey, not your own? Do you ever want more? Do you even know what you want, or who you even are? How are you feeling about your life right now?

If you want to rediscover what matters most to you, rewrite your stories, and uncover your own success and MAGIC, then the EXPAND EVOLVE ELEVATE Program is definitely for you. Let's talk! karenttjourney@gmail.com

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About the author:

Karen Hendrickson is an Elevation Coach, focused on helping others to rewrite their life story, befriend their mortality, and find the richness and magic that lives at the intersection of our lives where life and death meet. When we allow our authentic self permission to shine our life becomes full of MAGIC and GREATNESS.  Contact karenttjourney@gmail.com and start working with her today!